tears

Lately, I seem to be leaking tears everywhere I go and cry and the smallest thing. I think grief affects each of us in ways we never imagine. After taking my daughter to her annual physical in her fifteenth year of life, I cried thinking of all the time, all the years of Doctor visits and the growth from infancy to where she is now.
When my sons were babies, my Father came to New York for their baptism and I caught him in the rocker holding them in the nursery and he was crying. I wanted to know what was wrong and he said, “Honey, enjoy these beautiful babies because it goes fast.” Then before I turned around, they were turning five and I felt the desire to be with them more than all the time I was spending at work. Again the words of my Father come to mind, “The greatest reward, in life is to be a parent” – you will never regret your decision to spend more time being their Mom. He also told me, “It was the hardest job ever.”

So, the tears flow and I keep reminding myself that they are perfectly normal as they wash away the dust and clear my vision to keep going. After a good cry or a good rain, everything does seem clearer.